mistres_margera

12:41 pm: Has been a while since i entered anything so i thought i might as well...

sitting in my pj's drinking tea at 12.45 (i'm on study leave) so i'm allowed to be lazy! i saw Brokeback mountain last night and omg it couldnt have been anymore amazing!! not kidding (in my opinion) its THE best film i've ever seen!!! i was crying for sooo long afterwards (which is a good sign of a film for me).... *sigh* loved it...

02:57 pm: As some of you might know, my birthday is christmas day so i will be the ripe old age of 18 in five days (with a little girlie yay thrown in) and i can do lots of things now i'm a big girl now (age not size, thats something that unfortantly i doubt will ever happen)

- get married without parental consent
- adopt a baby (after i've got married anyway)
- drive a tank
- get a tattoo... which i will be doing
- go clubbing
- buy alcohol
-legally drink in a pub
- tried as an adult
- vote
- enlist in the army

Hmmm, can't think of any more right now, but i might jus have to invest in a tank...

05:13 pm: Every now and then i get this little angry message saying "you havent posted in so long, post something woman" so here you are...

But the thing is i never have anything to say well not that anyone else would be interested in...

Maybe if u tell me what u would like me to talk about i will talk about it!!

so please give topics u would like me to discuss and i will...

02:57 pm: I got sent this e-mail about when a guy loves a girl...and i was wondering if i do any these...

So guys is this how u feel bout girls and girl do you do any of these???

1. They will always smell good even if its just shampoo
2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder---guys shoulders are good.
3. How cute they look when they sleep---i so do not look cute when i sleep!!
4. The ease in which they fit into our arms----i am a good size for snuggling
5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the
world-----toby any thoughts?
6. How cute they are when they eat-------hahaha u havent seen me when i eat (toby has- not a pretty site)
7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it all
worth while---- nope i still look shit!
8. Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 outside----k, am i the only girl that is ALWAYS cold!!
9. The way they look good no matter what they wear--- hahaha yer right
10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you
think she's the most beautiful thing on this earth----- ok we're getting stupid now!
11. How cute they are when they argue---- no i'm just a bitch
12. The way her hand always finds yours--- i'm like a magnet
13. The way they smile
14. The way you feel when you see their name on the caller ID after you just
had a big fight
15. The way she says "lets not fight anymore" even though you know that an
hour later....
16. The way they kiss when you do something nice for them
17. The way they kiss you when you say "I love you"
18. Actually ... just the way they kiss you... --------- yay kissing
19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry
20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly---- queen of this!
21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt
22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt. (even though we don't
admit it)!
23. The way they say "I miss you" -----well we do
24. The way you miss them

06:11 pm: A - Age you got your first kiss: ummm, 11 i think...it was disgusting!!
B - Band listening to right now: 3 doors down
C - Crush: i dont have a crush...but i do love toby ; )
D - Dad's name: Peter
E - Easiest person(s) to talk to: lauren, natt and toby
F - Favorite bands at the moment: cky (as ever) and james blunt
G - Gummy bears or gummy worms: bears are cute but worms are more fun to eat
H - Hometown: upper beeding
I - Instruments: none!
K - Kids: EWWWW!!
L - Longest car ride ever:i dont know never really ben on one...going to the download fest was quite long...
M - Mom's name: Claire
N - Nicknames: oy bitch, bunny, hunny, snuggle bunny
O - One wish: to just be happy with everything at some point...
P - Phobia(s): prawns, the dark when i'm alone, being alone, spiders
Q - Quote: i dont really have one...
R - Reason to smile: toby...
S - Song you sang last: james blunt-tears and rain
T - Time you woke up today: 8am...on a sunday!!!
V - Vegetable you hate: cabbage
W - Worst habit(s): insulting myself...
X - X-rays you've had: head and wrist
Y - Yummy food: bagles, sandwiches!!
Z - zodiac sign: capricorn...christmas day!! get my pressi's!!!

02:06 pm: So, I'm sitting at home, really bored with only one hand really in use (torn ligaments in right wrist) and i can't think of anything to write about...part from the fact that i've been in a foul mood for days now...
what can i write...

ooo, questions bout what you lot think bout me! tis always interesting to see who really has two noses, two moths and 4 eyes (so two faced)

1. How would you descibe my looks?
2. Am i fun to be around/talk to?
3. If you chose my job what profession would you put me in?
4. Whats my worst quality?
5. if i was an animal what animal would i be?
6. do you like me?..please say yes cos i'm prone to crying atm...
7. how would you descibe my personality?

ok some general knowledge...
1. what colour are my eyes?
2. who is my boyfriend?
3. do i like myself?
4. how long is my hair?
5. what do i want to be when i grow up?
6. do you think toby loves me ; P...

09:42 am: Welll it's been like 2 months since my last entry so i thought maybe i aught to write something....
Problem is, i don't have anything to write about : (
Not much has happened really, well actually i guess thats completly untrue! But all the people who are likely to read this know whats happened anyway (seen as one of them see's me ALL the time and one of them see's bout every other day of the week) so i did one of these quizzy things not many people on my friends list and ashley if u see this i didnt know how to add you...sowwi!

Click here.
Take the quiz.
Post your results.
( See mistres_margera's results. )

04:34 pm: well it looked fun when olly did it so i'm gonna steal it and have people do it for me to...so do it anamosly (wtf if u can tell what that says from my spellin then you're good)


1. One secret.
2. One compliment.
3. One non-compliment.
4. One love note. It doesn't have to be for me.
5. Lyrics to a song.
6. And a hint to who you are.

Then I have to guess who you are.

01:25 pm:
The Goddess of Roses and Love. You are a hopeless
romantic. Always optimistic and loving, you
have many friends and you are exceptionally
trustworthy. You are a innocent beauty.


Which gorgeous goddess are you? For girls! (breath taking pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla



You are a Faerie, mischievous and fun
loving. You are friendly, flighty and can
sometimes fickle and you love the company of
others. You probably have many friends and
delight them with your stories and jokes. You
do also have a rebellious side to you though,
and you like to upset the authorities. You just
can't help it - you just love to upset the
apple-cart!

Your good points are that you're
fun, intelligent and a joy to be around - your
bad points are you can be fickle, devious and
sometimes take your tricks too far! In
addition, you can also be unaware of other
people's feelings.

You love to be in the
limelight and believe in living live to the
full - After all, life is short and not meant
to be wasted!


Are you a Princess, Enchantress, Faerie, Mermaid or Toad? (with pictures!)
brought to you by Quizilla


ok so i'm gettin into these quizzes a bit....but they all pretty much point to the same thing, i'm fun loving and apprently a hopless romantic!!

01:18 pm:
You're a romantic girl. You're kind, caring,
loveing, and peaceful. You spend a lot of your
time dreaming and you're not afraid to express
deep emotion, whether it be in a poem, diary,
or words. You hope for love and affection from
your prince charming. I have a feeling he will
come around soon.


What kind of girl are you? (with pix!)
brought to you by Quizilla

hehehehe...aren't i cute!!

04:36 pm: hehehe...
Well this weekend i went to the cinema twice once to see my chick flick and then again so toby could watch his "kung fu" movie...and as you do was talking to rob about it in r.e and he turned around and said
"aww well that shows the perfect relationship both getting what you want"
aren't we cute!!
hehehe i can use big words like "comprimise" hmmmm thats so not spelt right but anyway, i thought it was cute : )

oh and ollie...
coming out of your room in the nude and having the music up louder than me and toby ever have isn't exactly sly, do we have to start telling you to keep it down ; P

06:10 pm: 1> Name: psycho
2> Favourite thing to do: violent pornography
3> Favourite colour: honey
4> How are you feeling: starlit eyes
5> What makes you happy: bubbles
6> What inspires you: revenga
7> What you're doing right now: waiting for you
8> You're view on life: fuck the system
9> Whats you're style: virginity...............(yer right ;P )
10> Any thoughts: are you blind?

As you can see i used system lyrics cos i wasent allowed to use my favourite bands!!

04:11 pm: Happy 6 months to me...
If anyone didn't know yesterday was mine and toby's 6 month anaversary and all i have to say is *wow* becuase i finally lasted 6 months with someone and i couldnt be happier that it is with toby!! he's amazing and just the best guy in the world (now with a huge head lol) but i do love him and i'm just really really...happy.

03:27 pm: So what do you really mean to me?
The moon, the sun, the stars?
How about how I plea and plea...
For you to take me far.
And did you know that you're my all?
My love, one and true,
The one who will catch me when I fall,
Make me smile when I am blue.
Did you know i'd die for you,
I'd give up everything else to...
Just so I can say these words,
I do.

Not bad for writing this at 1am when i couldnt sleep...i should so be a poet!!
What do you think?

10:13 am: *sigh*....part two.
Well i managed to climb out of the hole and then i slipped and went straight to the bottom, smashing my cleverly crafted ladder under my back...
So i'm back in my hole and feeling as shit as ever!
its quiet in the hole and very lonely and even though there are things around me to occupy myself like twigs and mud my focus keeps returning to my thoughts and sooner or later or in a minute even they will build up and we'll have a hysterical Kira on our hands and she's always fun!!
I don't know how many people reading this are or have been, in love but its hard work...i mean at some points its the best you've ever felt and at others you jus want to crawl into a little ball and not come out of it again,
for instance i stayed over tobys last night and then this morning we were fine for like half an hour and then he started not feelin well and then on the way home it seemed like i'd done something horribly wrong but i didnt knwo what...and the truth is he was probably just in a rush to get to his interview....but we forget i'm a phyco and my twisted little mind turns that into toby must be mad at me...so now til i next see him i will dwell on this matter and it will drive me insane and when he comes over i'll jus be a little ball of Kira remains...

12:38 pm: Sigh...
You know when thre are points and you just kinda get fed up with everything going wrong...
i'm having one of those.
I mean there are a million people out there with bigger problems than me but i figure if i can't take care of myself then how can i help anyone else...
and then i relised i'm such a hypercrit, becuase i hate the way i look, pretty much everthing about me annoys me to be honest, i'm to sensitive too low in self confidence however my other type of confidence kinda drips off of me...but yet i still always compliment my friends becuase they are beautiful and it annoys me when they can't see it yet i can't take a compliment at all...i just dont see it!
And like me and Toby (even though he'll disagree with this cos he already has) but i can't seem to do anything right i'm always saying something wrong and its because i can't handle something as serious as this, never had it before and never cared for someone as much as i do him...
so basically i'm in a hole and the only person who can get me out of it is me...someone get me some tools so i can make a ladder :(

01:15 pm: Fears...
Well everyone laughs at me for having a fear of prawns...but seriously thery are creepy little things esp when you walk into the kitchen at work to collect the starters and there are 100 of the fuckers looking at you, needless to say one did go hysterical! but everyone has an odd little fear dont they? i know someone who is afraid of public swimming pools, my mum has a fear of things around her neck and kirsty-things around her wrists....now my dear toby is very macho and has a fear of spiders...bless him does he look cute when he runs away from one, another fear he has is losing me a similar fear that i ahve in the fact of losing him...but that won't happen (we're just to good together ;)
But i do wonder why wse have fears...and whats the point in em?
oooo...and who has has and interesting fear?

04:25 pm: song names....HIM
1. Are you male or female? - poison girl
2. Describe yourself - fortress of tears
3. How do some people feel about you? - sweet pandemonium
4. Describe your main interest - solitary man
5. How do you feel about yourself? -endless dark
6. Where would you rather be? - gone with the sin
7. Describe how you live - buried alive by love
8. Describe how you love?- razorblade kiss
9. Share a few words of wisdom- don't close your heart.

Good old HIM knows me to a tee...

01:06 pm: Well everyone keeps telling me to put in more entries so i'm gonna get a little debate going myself about something that i have always been curios about and never really understood....being in a serious relationship for probably the first time i have found it hard to deal with this emotion, because basically toby is the first decent guy i've ever been with...and i mean i've had some dick heads in the past...
So what is love?

The dictionary describes being in love as....
In a state of strong emotional attachment and usually sexual attraction.

The greek describe four states of love...
Eros-sexual love.
Philia-love for family and friends.
Agape-unconditonal love.
Stoge-love for possessions and pets.

Words that mircosoft word associates with love are...
feel affection for
adore
worship
be in love with
be devoted to
care for
find irresistible
be keen on

As for my opinion, to be honest i still don't know, i do love toby with all my heart so i guess thats what it is. that feeling of sadness ever time he leaves my house and worrying if he gets home ok, still getting nervous when he picks me up, spending ages getting ready cos i still want to try and impress him, incase one day he just goes off of me, thinking about him 24 hours a day...and feeling absolutly devistated when i dont see him for one day.
So what do think?

03:16 pm: oh dear....i'm a nutcase!!
Disorder Rating Information
Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: Moderate
Schizotypal: Very High
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Very High
Histrionic: Low
Narcissistic: Moderate
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: Very High
Obsessive-Compulsive: High

http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv

did this test thingy that was on sakris's LJ and turns out i'm insane!!!